Prophetic Bloopers

At our church we believe in the ministry of prophecy. God still speaks today, not at the authoritative level of Scripture, but to bring strength, comfort and challenge to people’s lives (see 1 Cor.14:3). Recently, we had a time of prophetic ministry over 250 of our church leaders and we’ve received many excellent reports about the positive impact that this had. We encourage each person to listen to the audio CD of the prophecies with someone, so that each prophetic word can be judged appropriately. The apostle Paul tells us not to treat prophecies lightly, but to test them – holding on to what is good and right, and letting the rest go (see 1 Thess.5:19-22).

On the humorous side, a friend of mine, Pastor Joseph Garlington, has collected a number of ‘prophecy bloopers’ over the years. I’m not sure how many of them actually took place, but they are a good laugh anyway. Here they are …

• "Thus saith the Lord, Why does this people sit around on their cans and do nothing? For do you not know that my word has been around for God knows how long?"
• "Yea my people, that is if you are my people, I would say unto thee, fear not! For the Lord your God knows that you fear some things and you fear sometimes! You know that sometimes I am afraid myself!"
• "Yea my people, I know that you are having a hard time. Yes, my people, saith the Lord, I know that it is rough on you sometimes! Sometimes I don’t know what I am going to do myself."
• "Yea my people, as far as I know, I have nothing against thee."
• Yea, saith the Lord, yea, yea, saith the Lord. Surely, yea, saith the Lord. Yea, saith the Lord. Yea, saith the Lord. Oh me, yea, saith the Lord, yes, yea saith the Lord. Yea saith the Lord." This person walked around the preacher, looked at him and said, "Brother, I have yea’d and yea’d, but the Lord won’t say anything."
• Some one prophesied, "Yea my people, as Moses was caught up in the chariot …" and continued a long dialogue about Moses in the chariot and sat down. The person jumped up a few minutes later and said, "Yea, my people, saith the Lord, I have made a mistake, it was not Moses in the chariot, but it was Elijah in the chariot!"
• "Yea, my people, I am not in this place." A few minutes later, "Yea my people, really, I am not in this place." About fifteen minutes later, "My people, you think I am kidding. I am not in this place."
• "Dot, dot, dash, dash, dot, dot, dash, dash, dot, dot, dash, dash. Yea my people, saith the Lord, this is Morse Code from heaven."
• "A young man stood up and gave a prophecy, and it was wrong. The Elders of the church rebuked, corrected and encouraged the young man and continued the service. The same young man stood up and said, "It was too of me, saith the Lord."
• One man was agitated about another man prophesying so long. When he was finished, he said, "That prophecy was not of me, saith the Lord, but this one is of me."
• "Thus saith the Lord, I am not in this place." Another person said, "I am too in this place, saith the Lord." The first man stood up and said, "Don’t believe that. "I am not in this place,’ saith the Lord."
• "The ball’s in your court, saith God, and you’re not doing a darn thing with it."

Aren’t you glad that God has a sense of humour!