Hi friends! Soul Food is back … with all new episodes.
Today, lets talk about endings.
Four years ago this month, I finished up working at a place where I had been employed for 32 years. We sold a home that we loved and we moved interstate. It was a major ending for me. A huge step into the unknown. I become a little emotional just thinking about it.
In many ways, life is a journey with many different seasons and those seasons are marked by endings, in-between times, and beginnings … all interconnected. These beginnings and endings happen in our relationships, our educational journey, our living arrangements, and our vocation.
Most endings are hard. They involve ‘letting go’, finding closure, and saying ‘goodbye’. There are often tears. There is loss. There is grief.
But endings are necessary. In fact, endings bring with them the possibility of new beginnings.
Henry Cloud is his helpful book Necessary Endings says: “Endings are a natural part of life – we either face them, stagnate or die. Without the ability to do endings well, we flounder, stay stuck and fail to reach our goals and dreams.”
What endings have occurred for you recently? What have you had to let go of? What are the losses? What feelings are you experiencing about those endings? How are you different now? What are learning?
You may have heard of the principle of displacement. If you have a plate that is full there is no room for anything new to be added to it. But if you remove some things from your plate, you create the space and the room for new things. That’s what endings do for us.
What necessary endings are coming up for you? Can you sense some nearing?
Have a look at this diagram below. It’s called a ‘Sigmoid Curve’.
This Sigmoid Curve illustrates those transition times in our life. After a season of learning and growth (the purple line), Point A is where we begin to ask ourselves some questions about our current reality and maybe even experience doubts about whether we are where we really want to be. We are feeling unsettled and restless or our motivation is low. It is time for an ending and a new curve to start (the blue line)? Point B is where we may have waited longer than necessary and we ‘hit the wall’ or have a crisis that forces an ending and propels us into rapid change.
We will have many of these curves or cycles in each aspect of our life throughout our lifetime (organizations do too). The key is to discern the endings and navigate them with as much courage, discernment, and wisdom as we can.
Let’s recap our main points:
- Life is a journey with many seasons, all involving endings and beginnings.
- Feelings of grief, sadness, and loss are normal when we encounter endings.
- Endings make new beginnings possible.
- Learn to discern the seasons of change in your life.
Finally, don’t go it alone. Find a safe friend or advisor to talk about the possible endings in your life and the inevitable emotions you are experiencing.
That’s all for today. See you next week when we look at Beginnings.
You can watch this episode now on the Soul Food YouTube Channel.