Have you ever had a conflict? Maybe a better question would be, “When was your last conflict?”
As we do life with other people it is inevitable that conflicts and disagreements will occur. How successfully we resolve those conflicts will have a big impact on our lives.
In most conflicts, there are wrongs on both sides. The trouble comes when we only focus on what the other person has done … rather than on our own contribution. Let’s say for example, that you’ve just had a conflict with another person and they were 90% wrong and you were 10% wrong. Don’t focus on their part; focus on yourself. Take care of your 10%.
Learn to say a few powerful words – from your heart.
• Firstly, “I’m sorry.” Those words can change an entire relationship.
• Then try this one, “I was wrong.”
• Finally, try this phrase, ”Would you forgive me?”
When we take responsibility for ourselves and respond to the heat of the moment with humility and kindness … the other person often softens and the conflict can more easily be resolved.
Apology … think about it.
Thank you Mark for posting this; this message really speaks into my life at the moment. May God continue to bless you.
I understand the important of forgiving and this is totally biblical. I had the experience of trying to forgive and going through all what I supposed to do. But just when I did the first step of start talking to them, what I found out was, the other party thought I was admitted the whole thing was done by my mistakes. And the most terrible thing was they claimed themselves righteous and spread around the whole church of my apology, just to show everyone that they were not wrong at all. This has made the process of forgiving even harder for me. Do you think some cases are not wise to say sorry too quick?
@Mishiranu: I personally believe that no matter what situation God decides to put you in; no matter what others may do to you and may make you feel; it is always better to follow the Word of God and the footsteps of Christ. Even if others do hurt you and make you feel like what you did is wrong, knowing that you are following Christ with all you are; just believing that everything is going according to His plan; makes any true follower Christ feel better
Hi Mishiranu. That sounds like a hurtful situation. Adopting a forgiving stance is important in all relationships but also needs to balanced with learning to ‘speak the truth in love.’ There is a rightful place for loving confrontation and being appropriately assertive. It sounds like you need to have a kind but firm conversation with this person, clarifying what you apologised for. Hope that helps
Mark
Two years ago, I was very angry at someone for spreading malicious rumours about me. At the time, I only started going into church. I did not know how to handle it and prayed for guidance. I really raged for days. Then, the answer came one night, in a quiet voice. Instead of expecting the other party to apologize, I apologised, with sincerity, asking what I had done wrong to her. We both broke down and admitted our faults. That was the day I started opening my heart out to God.