Here are some more reflections:
9. Changing the Odds (Geoffrey Canada).
Geoffrey is the President and CEO of Harlem Children's Zone. He says, "Hope is infectious but so is despair." Lift your sense of your urgency. Break out of this idea that you can't. We put rovers on Mars when we want to!
Succession plan … how will the company survive if you died? Think intentionally about this. Plan to leave your organisation when it is on its way up (not going down). Tell them you are leaving and what you are doing to plan for it. Don't wait until you are tired and burnt out.
Staying the Course – in dark times, remember that others have fought for a lifetime, seeing no change, yet never giving up because they knew they were right. You are part of a process moving towards victory.
Faith … the real test of faith is when you we faced with something that only your faith could keep you believing in God.
Leaders – people are watching us all the time. Bat 100%. Be always on top of your game. Get your moral compass right. Fallen leaders hurt the whole business.
10. Negotiating Conflict (William Ury).
William Ury is an anthropoligist and best-selling author of Getting to Yes. He is the champion of what he calls "principled negotiation" in contrast to "positional bargaining."
a. People – separate the people from the problem. Don't be soft on the people and soft on the problem OR be hard on the problem and hard on the people. Be hard on the problem and soft on the people. Soft on the people means listening, empathy, understanding, respect, etc. Negotiation is an act of influence. How can you do so if you don't understand how they think? Change the game from face to face confrontation to being side by side tackling the problem together.
b. Interests – focus on interests not positions. Probe behind positions to discover the real underlying needs and concerns.
c. Options – invent multiple options looking for mutual gains before deciding what to do. Find creative options that meet the interests of all sides.
d. Criteria – insist that the result be based on some objective standard. Create a fair process. How do we expand the pie before we divide it up? Often this becomes a position of 'will.' Base decisions on fairness not on will alone. It's about deferring not giving in.
What will do of we can't reach agreement? What is our alternative? Know this ahead of time. How will you know if the agreement is acceptable or not? Don't accept an agreement that it is worse that your bottom line!
During the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln once said, "Do I not destroy my enemy when I turn them into my friend?"
This process often results in a wise agreement and an amicable outcome. The goal is not to eliminate conflict but to deal with them in a constructive way. Focus on basic interests, mutually satisfying options, and fair standards.
Greatest obstacle? Ourselves! We react – which means we act without thinking. The power to not react is one of our greatest powers. "When angry you will make the best speech you will ever regret." Email: Reply, Reply to All, or Save as Draft?