RELATE well to other people
· Be a friendly and considerate person to everyone you work with and for.
The greatest commandments are to love God with all our being and to love our neighbour as ourselves. The very heart of the concept of ‘love’ is an ‘others focused’ approach to life. It is about looking outside of ourselves and then seeking to be a blessing to others. This has nothing to do with personality (introverts vs. extroverts), as much as it does with the orientation of our heart and life. Selfish people walk into a room and think “Here I am”, while loving people walk into a room and think “There you are!”
No doubt, feeling comfortable with ourselves is an important foundation for loving others. Many people find it hard to love and reach out to others because they really dislike themselves. Their personal rejection, insecurity and feelings of inferiority become like chains that hold them down and hold them back from really loving other people. That’s why it’s so important to come to a place where we comprehend and embrace God’s love for us.
· Be good listener.
One of the best ways to communicate love is to listen to people – ask questions and then take a genuine interest in what is happening in their life. This imparts value and you’ll learn a lot in the process.
Jesus was a good listener, always asking questions even though he knew so much and had so much he could say. James says, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Listening communicates love and value, helps you to understand other people and earns you the right to be heard. Poor listening habits include inattentiveness, interrupting and advice giving. Good listening habits include being attentive, seeking to understand and asking questions.
· Choose your words carefully and seek to use them in a constructive manner.
Our words carry great power – to either destroy or impart life. Paul tells us very clearly, “Don’t let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who lsiten (Eph.4:29).”
Remember communication is not just words. It includes your tone and your body language.
· Be an open and honest person who walks in integrity.
Be real. Don’t be a ‘fake’. Don’t wear a mask. Make sure that what people see matches who you really are. As leaders, who we are has a big influence on people. One of the essential qualities of a leader is integrity (Ps.78:72. Prov.10:9; 11:3). Integrity means that what people see on the outside matches who we really are on the inside.
Work hard to ensure that your inner world is healthy – your thoughts, your attitudes, your habits and your motivations. Seek to have a sensitive and clear conscience at all times (Acts 24:16). Beware of the little things that can cause us to drift away from godly and righteous living.
· Learn to value and accept people who are different than you.
People are ‘different’! They think differently, they see things from different perspectives, they come from different backgrounds and they have a different approach to life and situations. However, ‘different’ does not mean ‘wrong’. Variety is the spice of life and God is the one who used his creativity to make each one of us so unique and different from other people.
· Be a team player.
Your job is not just about ‘you’. It’s about ‘all of us’ – the team who is working together to accomplish our mission.
Good team Players:
1. Follow and support the leader.
2. Take an active interest in how others are doing. ‘Court awareness’ and ‘peripheral vision’.
3. Cheer when others are doing well or score a ‘goal’.
4. Encourage others when they’re not doing so well.
5. Put aside their own preferences or desires for the good of the team.
· Resolve conflicts as quickly and as thoroughly as possible.
United we stand – divided we fall. There is great power and blessing in unity. Disunity or division can destroy any organisation. Jesus tells us to resolve conflict immediately. Paul tells us to take care of conflicts before the sun goes down. The point is – relational unity is more important than anything else you’re doing (including ‘ministry’).
Place a priority on being ‘reconciled’ not being ‘right’. Value the relationship then try to sort out the issues. Know how to rebuild a relationship. Intentionally make some ‘deposits’ in the emotional bank account.
· Admit it when you’ve made a mistake and seek forgiveness when appropriate.
Admit it when you’ve made a mistake and seek forgiveness when appropriate.
We all make mistakes – say something we shouldn’t of have, do something we wish we hadn’t, or forget to do something we should have done! Other people can handle that – what they find can’t handle is when we’re not willing to admit our mistakes, when we make excuses or blame others.
More tomorrow …
More tomorrow …